The Gremlins Midnight Conundrum

One thing that has bothered fans of the Gremlins movies (especially the ones that overthink things like me): what exactly defines midnight? It’s not a natural phenomenon. Do gremlins trigger this by reading clocks? What’s the deal? How do you know for sure when they think “midnight” is?

Yes, I know I’m talking about a franchise of movies about malicious green puppets. No, I don’t care.

I realized this past week that I have a solution that circumvents the conundrum entirely. The true solution to the midnight conundrum is that it’s all bullshit–just an old wives’ tale that nobody ever had a chance to disprove. 99% of all Mogwai undergo the metamorphosis into the gremlin life stage. Gizmo isn’t prudent and wise and a picky eater or whatever. He’s just the mogwai equivalent of a caterpillar that refuses to molt and just gets really huge. He’s a genetic freak and he deserves our pity. He will never know the joy of shanking some housewife and cackling like he’s on laughing gas. So sad!

If I weren’t retired as a writer, I’d write a semi-serious take on a world in which Gremlins were a real thing. If Peter Watts can do it for The Thing, I don’t see why I can’t for Amblin movies.

1 thought on “The Gremlins Midnight Conundrum”

  1. This was the very first Cryptozoo segment I did on my podcast over a decade ago. The word you might be looking for is neotenisation. We did it with dogs. Dogs are trapped in their teenage years and don’t fully grow up. Perhaps the same is the case for Mogwais raised from birth by humans. So far as the post midnight feeding, there are plenty of creatures that have internal clocks that dictate their behaviour. I wonder if a bear that didn’t eat correctly might not end up going into hibernation mode.

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